Douglas L Perry, The Author blog

December 11, 2008

Dirty Little Deuces

Filed under: Thoughts — douglaslperry @ 4:27 am

I like to play Texas HoldEm on my iPhone when I am waiting. At the doctor’s office, on hold, at lunch, pretty much anytime that I have some free time. I usually win, it is a computer algorithm after all, and once you figure out it’s weaknesses, it’s pretty easy to exploit them.

I was playing a game against the computer. I was one on one with the final computer opponent. Things were going great, I had the chip lead, I was well on my way to kicking the computer’s butt.

Then it changed. I was folding hand after hand feeling my chips being sucked away by the inexorable rising blinds. I no longer had the chip lead and felt like I had cut my wrist. I was watching the blood slowly drain out of me.

I was about to put the phone away and try later when my luck suddenly changed. I got double Aces. Aha, finally a hand that I can bet on. This time computer I will make you pay. But I decided to slow play, make it look like I had nothing, fool the computer into thinking I was a sap, then trap him. I covered the rest of the big blind, sat back and waited. The computer checked. 

The flop was a dream, Ace, King, King. A full house, and not just a full house, the biggest baddest one you can get. OK computer, you’re going down. I’ve got you by the short ones now.

Keeping with the slow play plan, I checked. The computer checked. 

The turn card was the 2 of diamonds. Just to keep it interesting, I made a small bet, the computer matched it. OK computer, you didn’t raise it up, you got nothing….. heh, heh, heh

Things were definitely going my way. 

The river card was another measly 2 and I knew I had it beat. No lousy twos are going to help going up against my Aces and Kings. I decided to drop the bomb. I moved all in. 

The computer matched my bet and I nearly jumped for joy. I thought here I go, I’m going to double up. I’m going to leave you virtually chipless. I was doing a little victory dance in my head as I waited for the cards to be revealed. 

The game showed me my opponent’s cards and my joy turned to pain. I couldn’t believe it. I lost. I lost by the only two cards in the deck that could possibly beat me. The odds were in my favor by a landslide, but there they were. The last 2 deuces….


  1. You get that the computer cheats, right? 🙂

    Comment by Matches Malone — December 11, 2008 @ 4:37 am

  2. Wait.. really?


    Comment by douglaslperry — December 11, 2008 @ 4:48 am

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